Written by Katie Ogiba, Young Parents Discipleship Coordinator & Mentor
I grew up in a Christian home. We went to church every Sunday, we prayed and read the Bible together as a family, I sang in the choir and led worship – my dad was even the pastor! But as a teenager and into my 20s I made a lot of assumptions about the Bible and Christian faith (many of which were wrong!) and I never asked any of the questions I had. My parents were amazing. But I was a teenager and they were my parents (we know how that goes), and regardless I was worried that some of the questions I had were either dumb or “bad”. I didn’t have anyone who I felt I could talk to. As a result, I spent most of my teenage and early adult years really uncertain of what I believed, and honestly, who I was. It can seem like our “spiritual” beliefs are separate from “real” life, but what I believed or didn’t believe, the uncertainties that I had, and even the things I chose to ignore had a direct impact on every aspect of my life. It affected the decisions I made, the relationships I developed, and how I spent my time.
When I became a mom at 23, and it was no longer just about me, some of the suppressed questions and uncertainties I had started to come back to the surface. I explored a bit on my own but it wasn’t until a few years later when I started at a new church that I met a group of non-judgemental, wise people who seemed totally comfortable and patient with other people’s questions and uncertainties. I felt I could explore some of the deep, confusing, frustrating, and even overlooked parts of my faith and life with them. It’s not that they had all the answers, but they welcomed conversations and helped me work through things in my own time. While I didn’t have a formal mentor, I had a handful of people, with a bit more wisdom and experience than I had, who I knew I could talk to. It had an incredible impact on my life!
I look back now and wish my younger self had a mentor.
I look back now and wish my younger self had a mentor. Having questions, doubts and even apprehension about faith is completely normal, but if we don’t have anyone to talk to about it, we can feel lost. As parents, our questions and challenges in life can start to weigh heavily on us when we don’t have good guidance.
That’s why offering mentorship is such an important part of what we do through Young Parents. Mentorship is all the rage in business and education, but we don’t always think of it as an option for just life in general. What I’ve shared is about the need I had for a spiritual mentor, and that may not interest you at all, but I would argue that we all need a good life mentor, and a good life mentor will allow us to explore every aspect of life – spiritual, mental, relational, etc. The thing with mentorship is that it is a relationship where you commit to and schedule time which will be focused on YOU as the mentee – questions YOU have, challenges YOU are facing, things YOU are celebrating. The mentor isn’t there to solve things for you, but to be a good listener, to ask good questions to help you work through things, and to be a non-judgemental sounding board. Mentors aren’t gurus or therapists, but they should have a little more experience and a little more wisdom to share with you.
We all need a good life mentor who will allow us to explore every aspect of life.
You can be at any place on your faith or life journey to benefit from mentorship. The only requirement from you is a desire to grow and a willingness to commit to yourself. If you are a young mom or young dad and mentorship sparks an interest for you, please reach out! One of our leaders (myself included!) would LOVE to mentor you! If you have more questions, join us for Wednesday Live on our Facebook page or on Instagram in the coming weeks (or you can watch them back if you are from the future!) where we will talk more about all things mentorship including why spiritual mentorship just may be for you, what to look for in a mentor, how to prepare for your first mentorship meeting and more!
